Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Greatest Video in the History of the Internets

I think this one we can get a consensus on. It starts off with the Allman Brothers Band. One of their greatest songs, Blue Sky. Not the original great lineup with Duane and Berry, but a pretty close second with Warren and Allen. It's Woodstock 94. After 15 years or so of scraping the bottom, the Brothers were hitting a peak. The audience feels it. The band is finding their groove. Dickey and Warren lock in on their dual harmony leads, and then it happens at the 3 minute 13 second mark. Harmonic fucking convergence. The power of rock n' roll. What every young man dreams of happening at a concert, but few realize. It happens in a flash, so you have to rewind it a few times to make sure it happened, or was it just a figment of your imagination, like the lost city of Brigadoon: Up until that point in the video, the cameras had been focusing on the band, with barely a glimpse of the audience. The timing is uncanny, just as the band is hitting the peak, they pan across the crowd and catch this lucky lady getting her breast devoured by this fine gentleman. Upon watching it a few times, you gain a little more insight into the situation, and a few questions are raised as well. Her shirt is clearly up and she is just rocking out, but the sucking doesn't start until after the camera lands on the couple. Initially, she is caught off guard, but then it is obvious that she is loving it. And the sucking technique is really astounding. First, he is just doing a little playful teasing with the tongue, but then he gets a little excited and engulfs the entire breast. His artistry is breathtaking. He has clearly sucked a tit before. And we know he is having the time of his life.

The questions raised about this couple are many. First, we notice they are wearing matching bandanas. Did they come to the concert together in identical garb? Or did they come separately with the bandanas, and that is what brought them together? Or possibly the bandana was a gift from one to the other after a night of passionate revelry? We may never know.

And seeing a couple in passionate throes of ecstasy makes you wonder what became of them? Did they part ways before the end of the concert, or are they still together to this day? If together, do they still wear the bandanas? If separated, do they cherish them as a memory of what was and what could've been, or have they burned them in shame? What do her breasts look like? Does she still enjoy having them sucked? Has she had them sucked at any other concerts? What is her favorite song to have them sucked to? If they are still together, does he still suck her breasts? Is Blue Sky their favorite song? Did they dance to it at their wedding? Do they have twin boys named Duane and Dickey? Or daughters named Melissa and Elizabeth Reed? Are they aware of their internet infamy? What are they up to these days? Are they available for appearances and engagements, in which they reenact this scene?

If anyone has any more information, knows who this couple is or how to contact them, drop me a line or leave me a comment below.

You can go straight to the money shot here!